Failing was really out of the blue. I thought I had did everything the way it was. Can't believe I'm being upset cause of my results. Well, it was bad anyway. The worse that I did in 4 years in my school. Nvm, I'm still gonna have a positive attitude bout my results :) I will succeed :D


;Thunder rumbling, Castles crumbling, I am trying to hold on.




God knows that I've tried, seeing the bright side, But I'm not blind anymore ♥

Labels: emo-ness, feelings, picture, results

Labels: anger, feelings, sad

You know like the song "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter where he says "You're faking a smile with the coffee you go". So yeah, had a bad day. Felt like pulling a face and looking like wanna beat up someone up for the whole day.

Drama with friends, got slammed down hard when I shared my feelings with a few people, oily greasy hair early in the morning, stinked of sweat the whole day, and got my exam results. And guess what? Failed Add Maths and mediocre results for everything. So I'm sorry if I yell at you, snap or whatever, people have fucking bad days too kay? Plus I passed on the chance to watch Hunger Games for this Thursday. Fuck.


So, now you know. And okay, I won't ruin your dandy fucking perfect life with this post. You want naked boobs with camwhore pics? Go get a fucking bimbo's blog where being happy and perfect is the only fucking thing she thinks about.

I have a life and its not pretty sometimes okay?





;If this was a movie, you'll be here by now.




But I remember how it was back then, locked up in your arms and our friends were laughing, cause nothing like this ever happened to them ♥

Labels: anger, feelings, heartbreak, rant

I suddenly feel so empty and emo all of the sudden. I hate pms-ing, like seriously. Sigh, the reason...
        

Heart this song so much! So emotional and true :)
Why am I still holding on in the first place?

;All I hear are angels crying, oh won't they just sing instead?

Labels: emo-ness, feelings, random, rant

 Of to somewhere nearer and I just wanted to post up something authentic and me, which is emo songs! :D



Whenever I hear this song, I always tend to be transported back to my mansion of unspoken feelings. This song talks about Taylor going through a breakup, and she says that she wants to find someone one day who "might actually treat her well". It also talks about how a girl was stupid for thinking that she was that guys' princess. I should have known, that life with a certain someone was too good to be true. I'm not your princess and I guess that I should have realised that when all this crap started to happen.



"Moving on, its my time" & "hurt at first a lil bit, but now I'm so over it" is what always gets me in this song. I've moved on, I'm slowly forgetting everything... I've even forgotten how your voice sounds like and I even forgot your cologne that was my favourite scent. Yep, I'm moving on.



I especially love, love this heartbreak song. It talks about how after someone breaks your heart, you still have the courage to move on, and get stronger. I may have had my regrets, but I just wish I could forget about everything we had and just move on. Everytime your favourite song comes up on the radio, I just switch it of and the holllow feeling is easier to handle. It doesn't hurt that much anymore, and I'm proud of myself :D



"It will all get better in time", thats what everyone says. I guess that it'll happen for me too :) Everyone's saying that I should let you go, walk away and forget someone as cold as you. Haha, first time I actually listened to someones advice. Other than that, yeah, you pretending to be as cold as an icebox? I'm gonna move on because you don't deserve another minute, of me being sad because of the shit you said.

Anndddd, my one top favourite heartbreak song *drumroll*:



Ggŏjyŏjulge Jal Sara or better known as "I'll Back Of So You Can Live Better". My fav part is "I'll forget you so you can live better, so that you will be happy without me". This song is about G.Na who broke up with her guy because he says that he wants her gone (or some obscure reason not shown in this MV) and she says she'll leave him alone so he can live again. Kinda describes what I feel also, so I can really emphatise with how G.Na feels... Its hard but if you said you wanted to leave again, I'll listen. If someone is as dumb to let you go then I guess I made the right decision to walk away :D

And that compiles all of my feelings then :)

Mistakes were made, I'm not gonna be sad anymore, for any added measure, things were never gonna work out anyway. Don't even know why the hell I stayed behind and thought you could change.
You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, I cried for you. And I hated it.

If I had the chance to ask you a question, what did I EVER do to you, to make you hate me so much and not even want me around?
You know what, I don't think I want that answer. It just doesn't make sense, and I'm glad I don't have to figure you out anymore.

;Now that I'm sitting here, thinking things through, I (don't want to be) anywhere cold as you.

Labels: feelings, hatred

 New celebrity crush alert! I am totally in love with you Ryan, me less-than-three you! Such a comedian and inspiration. This dude's awesome <3



This song is so totally awesome :D
Call it what you want <3

Labels: feelings, love, moving on, new song

 Getting really bored with the school holidays cuz there relly much to do... Mum keeps on saying that I should go and help part time or something like that just to fill in my time... And to think its barely one week yet! Well, the best thing to do if your always bored has to be... Blogthings :D Gosh, this site is aweasome, there is so much varieties of quizzes to keep you entertained, plus, who doesn't like the pizza test? ;D




Lol, what she is saying is totally true xD
 I even thought that my Prince charming would suddenly come for me but turns out, there are no Prince Charming's in real life... You just fall in love with some regular dude who may or may not be the one for you, get your heart broken/ get married (if he will commit to you), produce babies that will look like him and you combine but it will never be a happily and ever after. It'll just happy next 20 years with hormones running around the house and ungrateful brats who will just say that you don't understand them and all that crap, having to spend money on them and they just might end up putting you in an old folks home cause your giving them a hard time. Right.
 Ha, I'm challenging the very basis of holy Matrimony. In this time of age where getting cheated on is as likely as 1,2,3, who would want to get married anyway? And its not as if now we talk things out, we just toss them, hope they never come back, screw over some idiotic bimbo and never hear from your ex-spouse ever again. It's like love doesn't exist anymore O: Not to mention the 7 year itch. Love is just wayy too much for most people (and me) to handle. As the old saying goes... Never touch it unless you want to get burn.



 Kinda like this song if anything ever turns out bad... This kind of songs are so heart renderingly painful but still you listen to them and why? Because you can relate. You can relate when someone's thrown you away like you were nothing, forgetting about you and living life like you didn't mean anything to them and you just think that maybe... Things weren't meant to be.
And you keep on questioning "you said you loved me, but why did you leave?", "can things ever get better to normal?", "will that person ever come back?", "how can I forget them?" when its so obvious that they aren't. Things were never meant to be this way, love doesn't just turn around and catch you again. You would have to stop searching and hopefully, it would give you another chance.

;But his love is still in me, like a broken arrow.

Labels: boredom, feelings, funny vid, heartbreak, songs

 Well, today's the last day of me being a Form 3 (although I didn't really go to school today - skipped it for the love of subway :d) and I'm having lots of emotions... Mostly NOSTALGIA. I love that word :) Well, I am going to miss all of my friends, but anyway, I hope I will get to see them soon... Like, as in, 3 days later :D





Ah, one of the great memories was during Viv's 16th birthday... As I recall, we had a ton of fun ;D

Form 3 was one of those roller coaster school years due to PMR and tons of exam stress but look beyond the thorns and see the roses, you will find that 15 is gonna be the most memorable year of your, like, life :D New friends, a whole new environment, your first taste of responsibility, your first love (on my part), basically just what everyone says it will be: The most exhilarating ride of your life :) A lot of emotions, good or bad, shown but all in all, kinda fun :) Sometimes I can't believe that everything I have always wanted years ago, I am getting now at this age :)
 I'm gonna miss being 15, but at the same time, you just feel like you can't wait to grow up :)

Labels: feelings, friends, nostalgia

 The meaning of the one that got away? It means losing someone that you thought was "The One" by circumstantial or a personal choice. It's never easy losing someone that you thought was perfect for you. It's hard to push away all of the other feelings, especially if that "One" was also your first one. I guess thats what I thought when I heard Katy Perry's "The One That Got Away":

Labels: feelings, heartbreak, music

 Its really funny that everythings been happening around me for such a short time, maybe a week perhaps, that I haven't even gotten use to the fact that yeah, you're gone alredy. Not gone as if totally gone, gone, but just... Not there for me in the way that I wanted. I know things will never be the same but I really don't know whether I should still hope or not? Fine... NOT.  It's also really funny now that I don't wake up early in the morning anymore and find myself missing you so much that I wanted to call you up and everything. Now, its more as if a different me is taking over, a me who is so afraid of commitment, someone who has walls up and who pretends to be happy even though she's not... I really don't like this new me, but what can I do anyway? I miss the me who was with you, she was way happier, didn't always feel numb, always felt something because of you (anger, fusteration, happiness, feeling as if I wanted to speak my mind out... Ah, good times). The point is that at least the old me had feelings and not walk around all day pretending as if everything is okay when it is so definitely NOT. And this feeling of helplessness... It sickens me just to think about, the constant what if's, the wanting to have you back, I hate all of those feelings.


 Sometimes I wish that things would get back to normal, to the life that I'm used to but no, it can't be that way. I know you and I know me already all too well. if we would get back together, things will still be unsolved, there will be tons of misunderstandings because of our huge ego's and yeah, nobody will be much happy anyway. I know all this but somehow I just can't accept it.

Labels: feelings

 This post is dedicated to someone who was really close to me, who was the most important person but now who can't be with me. I understand that right now, you can't be with me but I seriously hope that you will still remember me. What we had was really, really special to me, the feelings are all still pretty much there and I will never ever forget about you. Ever. You really were the best thing that's ever been mine and I wasn' ready to let it go. But now, I guess I have to. Hope you will be happier than you ever really were and maybe one day, things between us will turn out for the better. Istillloveyou. I will still remember all of our promises, good memories, the bad. Every laughter, tear, mistakes and memories will be as fresh as the day I still remember that you told me you loved me for the first time. You truely did change my life and even though you're not with me now, I will never forget that :) I hope you won't too :)

Labels: feelings

 Stupid layout finally gone bonkers and can't even be seen with Google, dunno much about Google Chrome but I think they all give the same result... Lame =/ Turns out, I just had to remove the SCM player to get everything back in order and now my dear bloggie is back <3
 Finally, trials are all done and I'm back to devoting my time to music, my blog and maybe even a lil bit of studying (sometimes). So happy to say that maybe, one day, I'll be putting playing the piano to my lists of interest cuz after 5 years... 5 long years, mum finally said 'yes' to me playing it! :) Just telling cuz I'm seriously happy :D

      

And like how the song suggests, "I'll be standing right next to you".
P.S: You can't control me anymore... You know who you are if your if you ever reading this, I hope so you do :P


    

Labels: feelings, music, songs

Labels: feelings, love, pictures

 I am so SICK of people telling me who I should be, what I should do, what I can't or can expect from myself! Do I look like an Illuminati puppet to you? That you can control every inexplicable detail of my life from the way how I walk to the way how I laugh? I seriously think that you have a head problem if you think that you actually have a chance to control me. There's something to tell you: Ain't ever gonna happen :)
So stop being mean, accept people for who they are and maybe you won't die a lonely person :)
 I mean, I have already accepted myself for who I am, so stop trying to make me feel otherwise cuz you seriously have no life at all --
 There's one song here that totally describes what I am feeling:



I've had enough, this is my prayer,
That I'll die living as free as my hair,
I am my hair....
I just want to be free, I just wanna be me,
And I want lots of friends that invite me to their parties,
Don't want to change and I'm not ashamed,
I'm the spirit of my hair, its all the glory that I bear,
I am my hair~

This song talks about a metaphor of how Lady Gaga uses her hair as an emphasis on freedom and she yearns to be as free as it. There is also one part where she asks her parents, "mom and dad, why can't I be who I want to be?" and then she makes this song as a prayer to be free.

Another song:



You, with your words like knifes and swords, weapons that you use against me, 
You knocked me off my feet and got me feeling like a nothing,
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out when I'm wounded, 
You, pickin' on the weaker men,
You can take me down, with just one single blow,
But you don't know, but you don't know, 
That someday, I'll be living in a big old city and all your ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me, 
And all your ever gonna be is mean~

This song tells of a very mean person getting on Taylor Swift's nerves and making her feel like a nothing. Yeah, there is also someone like that in my life that I seriously feel like clawing their faces of --

Labels: feelings, music, rant

 Tomorrows the 31st of July and you know what that means? Baskin Robbins!! Oh how I love this time of the month :D And also can;t believe it, first it was Micheal Jackson, and now its Amy Winehouse... So much good celebs all going away one by one... And this two have a lot in common such as the fact they both died by drug/substance abuse, were struggling by the time the media labelled them as psycho's who can't do nothing but self destruct themselves, and after they both passed on then only did their album records started soaring and the media finally gave them the recognition they deserved... Guess the old saying is still valid: You never know what you have till its gone.
R.I.P Amy Winehouse, hope your finally happy wherever you are :)
 About that saying, I can't believe I nearly lost the one who I consider as everything... I hope it will never happen again and it made me realise how important you mean... To me :) ILY forever and always <3
 Okay, done with the drama and all crap and now I gotta concentrate on my exams and I find its getting extremely difficult (the feeling not the exam) and I really really really really hope that at least I'll pass it if not... I am a total goner *sobs*

Labels: exam, feelings, movie, pictures

 Chapter by chapter, bit by bit, I could finally look back on our past history and one of my wishes was granted... I wanted to close the story of us on a happier chapter with a smile, although it did hurt the first time, now it doesn't anymore =) I'm happy for you and I hope wherever you are, I hope you are too =)

That was dedicated to a person in my past life but it doesn't matter anymore, the past is the past and nothing we say or do can really turn the hands of time, I've finally found closure and am happy for the path you have chosen =)

Long story short: No hard feelings anymore bub XD 




I love the new song from Charice... Its so darn inspirational =D
~I'm just gonna dance right through the pain, I just wanna feel that rhythm, feel that drum and let my heart beat, let my heart speak louder than my head  =)

Labels: acceptance, feelings, music

 See No More, the new single from Joe Jonas is so coolll and it totally describes what I'm going through now... And there's one part going:

I don't wanna wait for you
I don't wanna wake up thinkin, hopin
You'll get it right this time
Cause you know that you’re so cold
I don't wanna see no more
And I can’t get away from you

I was a total idiot for giving you so much chances and I shouldn't have... I honestly feel that it is totally wasted:

It was so easy to trust you baby
Guess I was so stupid baby
I didn't ever think that this would come
You’re runnin right to another one

I really want things to be settled and I don't wanna wake up to another heartbreak everyday, because I wanna love my life and if that means being self centered and loving myself more than anyone else then I would do that also... Regardless of anyone that I have to push out of my life =)

I used to be afraid of letting go
The fragile part of me, i’m here right now
I need you to set me free
I can see it in your eyes
That you won’t blame on me this time
No, never
And I want you back but I won’t look back, no

All I keep seeing is your picture but I don't wanna see no more =)

Labels: anger, feelings, music

 I'm gonna get personal when I say that I hate being egoistical... Trust me, it is not the best feeling in the world but I guess thats the way I was born, I guess. I might never ever tell you my problems for fear of being vunerable but I am trying to tell you how I feel right? And isn't that the best that I can do?
 I think I have a problem with my ego... Its bigger than a hot air balloon, it makes me never admit that I am sad or fusterated and whats more, I pretend to smile even when I'm hurting on the inside. Its like whenever my close friends or the said person who made me sad asks me whats wrong, I find my self saying 'nothing' most of the time... I guess sometimes you just can't break your own walls down to let other people in who sincerely would like to help you XP Even one of my friends told me that I'm egoistical... Its really not my fault that I can't put my feelings onto words or expressions that can be understood by everyone else (in real life of course, words just tend to come out easier for me if a keyboard is near my fingers) =)
 For once, I honestly wish I had real, valid feelings that I can share instead of saying "nothing, I'm fine, no seriously, its not affecting me at all".
 I feel like I really want to break out of my shell and find real friends that I can really trust... But I guess that day has to wait since there are only like bout 3 people here in my life right now that I trust with my feelings. I know... Pathetic.

Its the way I am... Deal with it =P
P.S:

Labels: beautiful, feelings, rant

Labels: feelings

I still can't over the flash back scene, where Po finds out who he really is... And Mr Pings' story when he tells Po that he is adopted and the memories that follow =) That panda was really cute when he was younger XD

Listened to Big Time Rush album and I gotta say, its awesome, maybe cuz I love those boys anyway =)


~Really random... P.S: Best. Day. Ever! =D

Labels: BTR, feelings, fun, movie

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