Smile Once More
PMR is seriously putting a strain on me, even though that I don't show it but it is.. And the only way I'm releasing it is by channeling all of the negative emotions into something and showing it to someone who means a lot to me... Now I finally understand and I'm touched by how he managed to handle me all those months where I was as lifeless as a dead fish (that ain't really livable at all, though). But now... I don't know whether I did a mistake, said something wrong, DID something wrong but all I know is that maybe things have to change for the better... We have to change for the better :) I know PMR is in 3 days time, but I need at least to feel better first and now I can face up my exam with more optimism... Cuz being sad during an exam week, is never advisable :( But to apologize or talk about it... I have to first put aside my ego.. Dang, I can already feel the physical pain in doing that... But who knows, things might be different.
But right now, the most important thing and person to me is millions of miles away, emotionally and physically... I'm not sad.. Just a feeling of numbness that I can't comprehand... Like the calm before a storm or emotionally shutting of to all of your problems for the better... I don't really know what this feeling is called but its scaring the heck out of me and I just need to feel your arms around me one more time to feel alive...
I don't want much, I just want to be happy... I mean, everyone has their own bad days and its inevitable, but just for once, just for me, please smile and be happy :( That's all I want to ask from you :)
And you smiling at me again :(
